Battle (freezer) Pizza

And now, the cold hard truth.

Tick tick tick. That's the sound of the dinner hour closing in, and there you are: hurried, harried and without a plan. Hopefully, you've prepared for just such an occasion by outfitting your freezer properly- with pizza. With any luck, you've picked one that doesn't taste like cardboard, has a smattering of anemic toppings or is simply lacking in flavor.

Now, of the multitude of frozen pies that are available, which one delivers the most satisfaction? I assembled a team of hungry, intrepid volunteers (read: poker-playing men) to assess a variety of pies. Thick, thin and regular crusts were carefully assessed, while pepperoni and supremes were compared and contrasted.

Overall winner: Palermo's Primo Margherita
That's right, I'd never heard of this brand either, until I pulled it out of the freezer case at Harris Teeter. Everyone who tasted it commented on the fresh, full flavors, tasty cheese and crisp crust.

Regular/rising crust: DiGiorno Rising Crust Supreme
The crust was flavorful and had a yeasty freshness, while the lively vegetables were present in just the right ratio. The thick sauce was nicely spiced, while the sausage tasted fresh, meaty and tantalizing.
Boo-hoo: Home Run Inn had a nice crust, but was otherwise one-dimensional. Freschetta Supreme received multiple reports of "flavorless" and "not interesting". I'll let the following comment speak for itself regarding Red Baron Supreme: "It's just as I remember, drunken-frat-boy-pizza! Too much sweet sauce and cheap, mealy sausage."

Thin Crust: Palermo's Primo Margherita
A super-thin crust nicely supported a trio of cheeses, chunks of tomato and a sauce that held hints of garlic, oregano and the "Old Country". High marks all around.
Boo-hoo: California Pizza Kitchen Margherita had a nice crust, but was lacking in cheese, while the overwhelming amount of basil obliterated any other nuances. DiGiorno Thin Crust Pepperoni was fairly middling: "Crust is a little dry; sauce tastes canned." "Crust tastes like a cracker that was soaked for a week in water, then baked." Red Baron Thin Crust Pepperoni was universally hated for its sugary-sweet sauce, greasy cheese and fatty, cheap pepperoni: "It just didn't taste in any way good."

French Bread-Style: Stouffer's French Bread Pizza Supreme
When thinking of French bread pizza, I automatically envision the familiar Stouffer's box, and with good reason: it's the best! It has the proper bread to topping ratio, with bright veggies and delicious chunks of sausage and pepperoni. "The best!"
Boo-hoo: The only other competition that I came across was DiGiorno's Supreme Garlic Bread Pizza, and it really wasn't too bad. Most folk enjoyed the garlicky cheese topping, but the bread, while tasty, was just too much. "Second best!"

Wanna make a really good frozen pizza? There are two choices.

Make Your Own!
This is absolutely the best choice. With the abundance of prepared crusts (think Boboli) or fresh dough balls (think Florimonte's), making your own has never been easier. Roll or throw out your dough, sauce it up and top as you see fit. Freeze it on a flat, preferably non-sticky, surface, then wrap it up airtight. Don't forget to mark what kind of pie lies inside, because in several weeks time when the eleventh hour looms, you are NOT going to remember what it was. Do not thaw, bake directly on a baking stone at 450 degrees until done. Easy, effortless, and all the work was done earlier by you. (What, no baking stone? Head over to Lowe's and pick up some un-glazed quarry tiles. You can line your oven rack with these for a very modest amount, and it will give the same result as a $50 pizza stone.)

Dress It Up!
Almost any frozen pizza can be jazzed up by adding a little something fresh. Once the pizza is about halfway done cooking, yank it out and add some interesting cheeses, fresh chopped veggies, sliced meats or even herbs. I'll bet even that old-school Tony's 10-for-$5 would taste pretty good when properly doctored up.